see,my toes laughing

i dont know what i am doing

that familiar face.
what are white lies?they are lies that people think its not serious. or matters. no right or wrong in telling white lies, i take thing too harsh.i tell white lies too.but white lies somehow make another party look foolish.wheres the line?'m a very simple human.i am no saint,i never ever wish to be involved in these.leave me out,leave me alone.

painted faces.

one of my favourite drama, its about beijing opera performers life. he(A) was one of the actor in the opera, and fallen in love with one of the actress(白牡丹, i remember her name!) of his batch. 白牡丹 left him, because of materialism. in the end she came back to A(think the man ditched her or what?)i dont remember much, but 白牡丹 died and left her daughter 白兰香 with A.
白兰香 grew up in the opera school and was under A. he was esp strict and stern towards her. she hated him.
under A's care and teaching, she became an outstanding opera actress.
she learnt about her own mother and A. she felt remorseful for not respecting A.
from teacher-disciple to father-daughter relationship,they developed more feeling for each other. in one of the major performance, A has a important part to play, which include some dangerous stunts. i believe he hasnt been performing for quite some time, yet he was the only actor who was familiar with the play. though sick, he still insists on taking on the role.
during the play, he fell while performing the most difficult part.
i remember he vomitted alot blood on the stage. he died on the stage,he lived his whole life here. he once loved 白牡丹, she let him down. he was carrying her when she died.
her daughter 白兰香 was madly in love with him, and he loved her as much.i guess the storyline may sound absurb to some.

this was one of the drama i couldnt forget, the mother and daughter was played by the same actress. how diffult the performers lifes of the opera was. how devoted the man was.

lose and i lost.
roller coaster mood this day.

i am just so no good in anything. i feel loser that instance.

nothing can be better than her.


lost and indulge.
Oh my love oh my love for the first time in my life my eyes are wide open oh my lover for the first time in my life my eyes can see i see the wind, oh i see the trees everything is clear in my heart i see the clouds, oh i see the sky everything is clear in our world oh my love for the first time in my life my mind is wide open oh my lover for the first time in my life my mind can feel i feel sorrow, oh i feel dreams everything is clear in my heart everything is clear in our world i feel life, oh i feel love

i sit under a tree.
to speak from a totally different vision which doesnt seem to be available to the mass,it seems u'll be easily misunderstood.because you speak from a totally different experience,which all these cannot be expressed through words.yet u did it. u gave these words their own colours, u use these words in your own way. these creates troubles among the masses, they cannot bear the truth, they arent ready. they create barriers to avoid listening.
it seems only when we're open, we listen.
well, i am no emo girl today
neither happy, sad nor neutral.
i dont know, its just another moment.

i taste love from dodo.


gigi sleep.



dodo poh.

i really really miss dodo, i let her down.
i still remember she love to lick me, and i love squeezing her.

what happen to my neck?
'sex joins two bodies'
'love joins two souls'
saw this phrase in one of the second-hand book,its handwritten probably by the owner of the book

i have oily hair scalp these days,i do shampoo it cleanly.

i wont forget you.

and rambo
starry starry night.

亚亚小姐 and 哇辣先生talking over the phone.
肥安can hear them.
亚亚小姐: i want to eat ramen
哇辣先生: how to pop out ramen now?
came their laughter.

almost every night,she'll have some strange craving,and he replying the same answer,and they laughed happily.
肥安bored to tears eavesdropping on their same old lines,she dont understand whats so funny too.



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